D4: Saying no with class
Use when: You need to decline or redirect a request and keep the relationship.
The questions
- What problem are you trying to solve with this request?
- What's the deadline, and what happens if it slips?
- Which part is the highest value we can deliver first, and what can be deferred?
- If I take this on, what should I stop or delay so we don't create hidden overload?
- What alternative would work: different owner, reduced scope, or a different timeline?
Research basis
Wilding 2022; Fisher, Ury, and Patton 2011; Schein 2013; CIPD 2026a
Get the full field guide
The complete PDF covers 24 situations, 153 questions, and the four listening moves (reflect, summarize, validate, clarify). Download The Questions Leaders Ask field guide.
Workshop
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